


I Ain't Gon' Smile If I Don't Want To

by RainbowRain17



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, NYU - Freeform, One Shot, RBF, Reddie, resting bitch face
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 17:46:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14025411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowRain17/pseuds/RainbowRain17
Summary: Eddie has RBF - Resting Bitch Face - and he is used to people commenting on his serious, cold, stony demeanour. It doesn't mean that he has to like it when his boyfriend, Richie, does the same.





	I Ain't Gon' Smile If I Don't Want To

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Paramore's Rose Colored Boy and thought to myself; Eddie with RBF!!!

It’s a typical Tuesday evening in NYU at the west side campus library. It’s only the 2nd week of the new semester but the atmosphere is nothing less than serious, with students set into groups or going solo on various academic pursuits. Eddie Kaspbrak and his boyfriend, Richie Tozier are among the students in the building, trying to focus on their own individual assignments; Eddie is an Administrative Science major whereas Richie belongs in the Theoretical Physics department. The couple decide to go to the library for their study session instead of having one in their dorm room, seeking inspiration or rather motivation to not procrastinate. Additionally, Richie have been acting pretty frisky _– or to be frank, horny -_ and keeps on making dirty jokes throughout the day and Eddie knows that if they were to have their study session in the dorm room, nothing particularly academic would come out of it.

Besides, Eddie is having a pretty shitty day and is neither in the mood to be intimate or have enough patience to deal with Richie’s banter. So he suggested the library, knowing that it’ll at least put Richie on a leash and he’ll most likely to behave. So far, he has proven himself to be right.

They sit across each other at the table, Eddie with his Public Relations textbook spreads in front of him while Richie is messing around with his calculator, trying to decipher the solution behind the complicated equation that his professor had challenged his class to complete – _and it’s not even counted as part of their grade, just for fun_ \- . Eddie is actually impressed that Richie manages to stay this focused, only occasionally tapping his foot against the carpeted floor; a habit that no longer bothers Eddie after 2 years of dating.

 Eddie sighs as his mind takes him back to 3 hours ago, one of the worst moments of his life.

He absolutely hates the start of a new semester, particularly the start of the new classes where self-introduction is deemed necessary to break the ice among new classmates. He just hates the whole process of having to introduce himself and coming up with one interesting fact. There’s nothing interesting about him. Why can’t simply saying your names be enough? Additionally he also hates having to put on a forced smile for the strangers around him in hopes that they don’t hate him too much. Not when he can feel their judging stares scanning his entire body as he states that his hobby is taking a nap.

Eddie is aware that he is blessed with RBF syndrome _– resting bitch face –_ that makes his face do this thing where he looks like he’s a snob when in actuality all he’s thinking about most of the time is what to get for his next meal. It is the bane of his existence and it doesn’t help that he is naturally shy and quiet too _– a lottery he never asks to win -._

His whole life, people have been telling him to smile more, socialize more, talk more and just be happy. It’s always more; always a demand for him to be something else and Eddie is just so sick of it. Sure, when he was younger and being bullied because of his introverted nature, he had wished that he was more outgoing, friendlier, damn, he even joined a club, only to quit after 3 meetings because fuck that, he hated social gatherings, hated them with a passion. It was also because of his serious demeanour that he found it difficult to make friends his entire life. Thankfully, before entering the hell that was high school, he had cemented a friendship with 2 boys in kindergarten who then became his best friends; Bill and Stan. Therefore, he never felt like there was any need to make new friends. Then because his two friends were more socially active than he was, especially Bill who was the captain of the baseball team and Stan having found his people through his involvement in boy scouts, Eddie found himself acquiring acquaintances by extension. For Eddie, that was enough.

However, things were different in university as Bill and Stan, having started dating towards the end of high school decided to apply for the University of Columbus in Ohio while Eddie, although applying for the same university as his best friends, had decided to try his luck on NYU as well. All of them ended up getting accepted into their school of choice _–Eddie was accepted to both Columbus and NYU -._ This meant good news for the two love birds but bad news for Eddie who realised that he had to survive the whole university experience alone _– in a strange city, nonetheless-_ as NYU was too big of a dream to refuse.

It was a truly daunting experience, stepping foot in his dorm building for the 1st time. The strange people he met along the way and then the loud stranger in his dorm room, his roommate; Richie. His first impression of his current boyfriend wasn’t really that positive. Eddie had thought Richie to be loud and almost obnoxious with his crude jokes and bad accents. He had wished he had followed his best friends to Ohio instead and even wondered whether NYU was actually worth it.

Thus, what followed was Eddie trying his best to avoid Richie to the point of being straight up cold and snippy until one day, Richie who is always so ‘happy go lucky’ all the time had enough. He snapped at him, called him a bitch and told Eddie to _\- in which he is able to quote words by words perfectly until this day-_ “remove that stick from your ass because it’s not a fucking dildo” - . It has stunned Eddie to tears while Richie regressed in guilty silence. However, despite the latter’s harsh words, something positive came out of it; a brand new perspective. The trashmouth turned out to be in possession of feelings and apparently Eddie had hurt his. So that day ended with Richie leaving the room while Eddie resolved to be a better roommate whilst sobbing on the phone to Bill to complain about his horrible university experience.

Richie had apologized afterwards though, said that he felt bad about that comment and offered Eddie a box of pizza as peace offering and he accepted it. That led to their first actual conversation and Eddie found that it was actually very easy to warm up to the trashmouth when he wasn’t so busy trying to avoid him like a spring allergy. He is warm, genuine and surprisingly insightful and not to mention super attractive, a fact that Eddie begrudgingly had to admit once he was close enough to really look. In that initial long conversation, Eddie had spilled that he is gay after Richie disclosed that he is bisexual which took him by surprise. Richie however told him that he figured Eddie was gay from the moment he saw him.

Eddie remembered that conversation clearly, at 10 pm, gorging on pepperoni pizza on the cement floor, an elated high in his heart at the prospect of a newfound friendship.

_“What do you mean you’ve figured? It’s not like I have a sticker that says ‘yes homo’ on my forehead,” Eddie joked, shoving Richie’s shoulder lightly._

_“Well Eds, I figured that nobody this cute (que Richie pinching his cheek affectionately) could be straight,” Richie said, laughing as Eddie frowned at the nickname._

_“Don’t call me that,” Eddie scowled, pretending to be annoyed when secretly he kinda liked it. Nobody have ever given him a nickname before (don’t tell Richie though, because he would never let Eddie live it down) “And I’m not cute. I’m 18 years old, Richard!” his adamant words lost their effect from the blush apparent on his face._

_“Fine, you’re not cute,” Richie resigns, tapping his chin thoughtfully before grinning widely, “You’re gorgeous, sexy, smashing, 10/10 would hit that,” he reiterated then making grabby hands at  Eddie who leaned back disgustedly whilst still blushing like mad._

_“Oh Mister Edward, please let me have your baby. I’m just a simple country gal. All I have is a child bearing hips but my daddy said that he’ll give us Moonlight the cow,” Richie continued in a badly imitation of a southern accent._

_“Who the fuck is Moonlight, you psycho,” Eddie chuckled despite his harsh words._

_“The cow,” Richie deadpanned then failing to maintain his straight face once Eddie burst out laughing, causing him to laugh as well._

And that was how they spent that night, laughing with their belly full and falling asleep with optimism in the air, knowing that when they wake up the next day, they can consider themselves as friends. As opposed to just another two strangers forced to share a room.

It was 4 months later that they started to date each other, after relentless flirting on Richie’s part and constant denial of his attraction to the lanky boy from Eddie’s side. The changes in their relationship status becomes apparent from the now joined twin beds at the centre of their dorm room and Eddie’s habitual practice of wearing Richie’s clothes, especially his hoodies that are always too big on his small 5’7 frame as compared to Richie’s 6’2. He just loves the smell that lingers on the fabric; fresh detergent smell and sometimes his boyfriend’s cologne (when it’s 2 days away from laundry day).

 To be honest though, sometimes Eddie finds it hard to believe that they are actually dating. It feels like a dream that this nuclear ball of energy is actually interested in him, actually wants him around – _wanting to kiss him and doing stuff to him in private that Eddie is still (up to this point of their relationship) too embarrassed to say out loud -_. Not even in his wildest fantasy he dares to wish for somebody like Richie. It’s obviously striking how different they are in terms of personality. Richie is like a magnet that is constantly drawing people closer, always beaming with radiant colours while Eddie only repels. However, together, they just fit perfectly like carefully crafted puzzle pieces meant to be put in a single frame. Eddie’s quiet energy calming Richie’s frantic instincts whereas Richie’s incessant need to be around people pulls Eddie out of his comfort zone, a little bit but it’s not like he’s going to complain. True to his habit of acquiring friends through extension, Richie’s best friends; Beverly and Mike then become his friends as well.

To say that Eddie Kaspbrak is quite content with his university life is an understatement; he is perfectly happy with his social circle of 3 people and then kicking ass with his 4.0 cgpa, a fact that seems to take people by surprise the majority of the time it was revealed. It’s like just because he is quiet, people tend to assume that it is inevitable that he would be a subpar student too because of course, it’s an extroverts’ world and introverts like Eddie are just paying rent. They would never thought that Eddie actually possesses a full ride scholardhip.

That would have been just fine; Eddie never wants to stand out, happy to gloat in his success in private, never wanting to be in anyone’s radar. Except putting him high on the radar seemed to be his Public Relations professor’s mission 3 hours ago.

The story went like this; it was the 1st class of the semester and as expected, the students were to introduce themselves to the class to break the ice. Honestly Eddie doesn’t really get this constant need to get to know everyone when there’s like 7 billion people in the world, honestly who has the time and not to mention memory capacity. But anyway, he was prepared to give the same boring anecdote about himself and then move on with his life. But oh no, that apparently wasn’t in the cards today, not for his professor, Mr. Goldie who for no obvious reason decided to make Eddie his target. From the moment the bearded heavy set man entered the seminar room, with a cup of coffee in his hand, cursing as he unloaded his items on the table _\- 20 minutes late -_ Eddie has the feeling that he was someone that wouldn’t be easy to deal with, to put it frankly, a douche. However, it never crossed his mind that he would be the interest for humiliation of the said douche.

“It’s called a smile, young man. There’s no need to look so serious, this ain’t your mum’s funeral,” Goldie had said followed by laughter from the other students. If Eddie hadn’t been so mortified and quite simply, someone else, he would have bite back with _“Maybe so, but this is also ain’t the 50s when you were actually cool and not so desperate to fit in with your pathetic your mum joke.”_ But this isn’t a perfect world and Eddie is unfortunately just himself.

He had cowered mentally instead, swearing that was the moment he could feel his face falls on the floor. He was absolutely mortified, face warm from the multiple pairs of eyes he can feel staring at him from all corners of the room. In his flustered mind, he assumed that they were all judging him.

“Huh?” Eddie managed to vomit out in which his professor then proceeded to shake his head as if Eddie had frustrated him. Over what? Eddie wasn’t sure but perhaps something about him just triggered the old man’s hate reflex and he just have to pounce.

“How do you expect to be excellent an PR practitioner if you can’t keep up a positive demeanour? Do you think that any organization will hire anyone who is supposed to be in charge of fostering relationships with external shareholders and customers to have this kind of personality? Young man, you’ll be the worst hire that they’ll ever make, should anyone wants to even hire you in the first place, that is. You best believe that they wouldn’t,” the douche continued with his rant.

Eddie had stood awkwardly behind his desk, not quite believing that something like that was happening to him. He was quite frankly being insulted to his face in front of his peers and the worst thing was that he would just have to take it because he was too scared to defend himself.

“Maybe it’ll be wise for you to rethink you major. Next,” the merciless professor had concluded, calling upon the next student for introduction, the girl luckily spared of the humiliation he wasn’t so fortunate of. In fact, nobody else was given such harsh assessment, only Eddie. And that was the worst part of it; being singled out, misunderstood, just cause he’s has a natural mean face.

 He had sat with his hands stuffed in the pocket of Richie’s hoodie, shaking. Biting his tongue – hard - as tears prickled his eyes, praying that none of it would come out, exposing him. He kept his head bent low; pretending that none of what just happened affected him. He was the first to exit the class once the lecture was over, stumbling on his way, his shoulders heavy with unshed embarrassment, afraid to look at any other way except the floor because he didn’t want to make eye contact with his classmates. He was a failure he decided and they shouldn’t be subjected to a loser like him. Then it was 30 minutes spent huffing and taking deep breaths in the washroom; he was too stubborn to let himself shed any tears that he supposed would actually made him feel better. Just shed the stress away but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Then it was time to meet his boyfriend for a late lunch around the campus in which Eddie had then reverted to his usual stoic facade.

He intended to let the matter died and just move on. Besides, it would only be for 4 months and then Eddie would never have to see the douche’s face ever again.  Also, being around Richie had this effect on him where he could just let himself fall in the moment and forget about anything that is stressing him, at least momentarily. So he convinced himself that he was fine. And that was how he ended up in the library, starting on notes for the 1st three chapters of the PR module because all things aside, nothing is going to stop him from being an excellent student and getting an A for his final, not even the douche.

He comes across topic two which have a whole section that discusses on the quality a PR personnel should possess. He reads the 1st main point with eyes rolling; of course it has to be a positive attitude. In times like this Eddie is reminded how much he hates theoretical subjects sometimes. Everything is just fine but of course people have to include morality in the mix. Nothing is ever straight forward like his calculation subject; it has to be integrity, accountability and all that crap. Maybe the douche had been right; maybe he should just change his major. Except it’s not like he wanted to be a PR person subject in the first place _\- the subject is just another requirement to fulfil his credit hours_ \-  so Goldie can shove it up his ass.

He writes his notes with his eyebrows furrowed, annoyed with the black and white facts – _maybe a quiet person would be a better PR person because they are most likely to be more focused. Have you ever considered that Lee, Haverford and Wong, huh? Have you?_ – his inner monologue of berating the authors of his overpriced text books causes the frown to deepen on his face. It must have alerted Richie though because all of a sudden he reaches across the table and starts to rub his thumb across the space between his eyebrows.

Eddie stiffens in his seat.

“Hey, relax Eds. If you keep it up you will have 2 permanent lines on that cute face of yours before the end of the day. Lighten up a bit,” Richie says casually, pulling back his hands when Eddie looks up from his book.

“What?” Eddie says, not liking his boyfriend’s action one bit, even though it’s nothing unusual. It’s something that Richie would do when he gets too stress, knows that it would calm him even in the worst of times. However, today is just not the day for anything to make sense and the bad episode rushes back in his mind. Apparently he’s not quite over it.

“Why so serious?” Richie chuckles, not knowing of Eddie’s inner turmoil then shifting his attention back to his assignment, careless.

Eddie is left staring at his boyfriend, feeling like he is under attack somehow and irrationally disappointed over that innocent comment. _“Not you too.”_

Richie must have feel Eddie’s eyes on him and he looks up to see his upset face. His eyebrows shoot up in silent question but before he could ask Eddie why he is looking at him like that, the latter speaks first.

“Why do you always do that?” Eddie asks, his voice strained.

“Do what?” Richie replies with a question, confused.

“Makes me feel bad for not being happy,” Eddie says.

“Huh? What do you mean?” he asks again, brows furrowed with further confusion.

“Do I have to put on a show all the damn time?”

“Eddie, what are you talking about? Are you high?” Richie jokes but then swallows when Eddie just looks at him, unamused.

“There’s nothing wrong with me ok. It’s just how my face is and sometimes I do get upset. But I was just fine then. Why did you do that? Why do I have to defend myself all the time? Eddie pounces, voice becoming louder as his irritation grows. He realises that it’s not Richie that he’s frustrated with. It’s that professor and mostly at himself for letting his frustration gets to him. But, he feels like that 10 minutes after a fight is over and all the comebacks that he should have said during the said fight suddenly comes pouring in his head and saying it out loud makes him feel a bit better.

Obviously, Eddie is on that roller coaster and it feels good being able to say those things. Although he is saying it to the wrong person. A person who actually cares about him and he knows he is acting kinda like an asshole.

“Eddie, why are you getting so upset? What’s wrong, babe?” Richie asks, now really concern.

Eddie just gives him a look through narrowed eyes. He is far too gone and although the rational part of him tries to seize control once more, it fails. His ego taking centre stage instead and he puts on a show by rolling his eyes _– childish, he knows -_ and begins stuffing his books and stationaries in his bagpack.

“If you’re so keen on dating someone who is happy all the time, maybe you should just date yourself,” he says harshly and straps on his back pack.

Richie looks up with him with mouth agape, completely bewildered with his boyfriend sudden change in behaviour. It’s a side of Eddie that he has never seen before and he doesn’t really know what to say.

“Edd…” he starts but is cut off by Eddie’s impatient shuffle from the desk.

“I’m going back to the room,” Eddie says, barely glancing at him. “Don’t follow me,” he adds when Richie makes a move to pack his bag as well, indicating that he wants to join him.

Richie halts his action then watches his boyfriend walks away, more confused that he had ever been in his entire 20 years of existence. “What just happened?” he says to no one in particular. He slumps back in his seat where he spends the next 10 minutes contemplating whether he should give Eddie a call. Then he tries to focus on his assignment before completely giving it up altogether and decides to pay Beverly a visit instead.

*****

Eddie arrives at their doom room 15 minutes later, almost hit with an asthma attack because during the walk, a wave of shame slowly overcomes him. His mind is consumed with the thoughts of how horrible he was to Richie and he can’t erase the look on Richie’s face when he has gone off on him. He’ll do anything to take that back.

He slams the door behind him and as if that’s not enough, hurls his backpack at the corner of the room. The impact is so strong that the zipper actually bursts; his expensive text books spilling out of their confinement and mix that with the turbulence in his head, the frustration inside of him intensifies. It’s the wet type of frustration where his whole chest hurts with unbearable sadness that leaves his lips trembling and knees a bit weak. He is gasping for breath, suffocated by the thoughts in his head so he takes of his hoodie _– Richie’s –_ hastily. He sits at the edge of his bed, places his elbows over his thighs and burst into sobs with palms covering his face; the stress of the day finally wearing him down.

Later, when exhaustion begins to set in, he settles for the one thing that’ll make anything just a little bit better; he goes to sleep, at 7.30pm on a Tuesday night.

*****

When Richie arrives at the Faculty of Fashion’s workshop, Beverly is at her work station by the window overlooking the university’s park. She’s clearly preoccupied with whatever design she’s working on, her slender fingers smeared with colourful crayon streaks and some of the synthetic rainbow they produce spreads unintentionally across her cheeks. Beverly is some sort of a prodigy in her faculty, one of the exceptional few that have been invited to showcase her design during this year’s NY Fashion Week.

Yes, she is that talented and Richie has hoped that she’ll become famous and rich enough so that he can mooch of his best friend since the 6th grade, in case a career in theoretical physics doesn’t really work out well for him. However, seeing that he can’t see a future without Eddie in it, that plan fades into extinction because he’ll be making sure that he’ll be successful enough so that Eddie can mooch of him instead.

Richie knows when it comes to Eddie, he’s basically fucked up. It’s like that Neon Trees’ song _– ‘I’m a fool with a curse and a crush’ -_ and what he feels about Eddie is something akin to that. He never thought he’ll found someone special enough to consider a lifetime together but yet here he is, walking over to his best friend, about to ask for her advice on what to do because he really can’t comprehend the whole situation with his boyfriend.

Sensing someone watching her, Beverly look up from her sketch book, then quirks her eyebrows at the defeated look Richie wears on his face.

“You look like shit. More than usual that is,” she comments casually, closing her sketchbook and points at the chair in front of her.

“Thanks,” Richie quips, giving her the finger as he sits.

Beverly throws her head back, laughing heartily, not taking it to heart. She reaches for the pack of cigarettes in the pocket of her skinny jeans, jams it between her lips then bundles her thick red hair in a loose high bun. She flicks her lighter, and then pauses when the girl 3 stations away hisses in contempt. She lets her eyes linger on the girl, daring her to say something. The girl flusters at Beverly’s challenging stares, dropping her eyes back to her work with cheeks flaming scarlet.

Beverly rolls her eyes, “That’s what I thought,” she mutters before pushing open the window, letting the cool autumn breeze to drift into the room, bringing along with it the crisps, earthy smell of fresh air. She finally lights up her cigarette, taking a deep drag before blowing the smoke in Richie’s direction.

They speak of nothing at the moment. Beverly taking deep puffs from the cancer stick while Richie watches longingly, desperately wanting one in times like this but stopping himself considering he had gone cold turkey and quit after 2 months of dating Eddie. It wasn’t an easy decision for him to make but something happened that made him decide that his boyfriend is more important than an easy fix that comes in a 10 dollar box.

It was summer and Richie had been smoking heavily in his car with the windows shut _– it was a stressful day and he thought that maybe it’ll be just like hotboxing but without the weed -_. He was 5 sticks down before he decided that it wasn’t as fun as hotboxing then went to pick Eddie up from his class as they had a date planned out. It wasn’t even close to 10 minutes after his boyfriend has entered the car and he has gone down with an asthma attack. And it wasn’t the normal attack where he can be cured with a couple of puffs from his trusty inhaler. It was the kind where Richie has to drive past the city’s maximum speed limit to the hospital where Eddie was then immediately rushed to get breathing treatment using the nebulizer. As if that wasn’t enough to make Richie felt worse than he already did, Eddie has a fever that took about a week to heal from. In that moment, where Eddie had the nebulizer strapped on his face, surrounded by medicinal mist, eyes scrunched shut and watering, Richie resolved to never touch another cigarette in his life. Eddie had told him that it wasn’t necessary, that he should just roll the window down next time but Richie was determined and he hasn’t had a cigarette ever since. Although there are countless times where he wishes he never quit. This is one of those days and he longs to have one of those in between his lips; that sweet bliss of temporary oblivion.

Beverly takes a final drag of her cigarette then stumps it inside her rose gold ashtray before addressing him again. “What did you do?” she asks, lips quirk in amusement.

“What makes you think I did something? That’s borderline discriminatory Bev. I’m offended,” he says.

“What did you do to Eddie?” she presses on, undeterred by his dramatic proclamation.

“What makes you think it’s about Eddie?” he doesn’t know why he tries to avoid the subject. Besides it’s his best friend. She can read him like a book.

“It’s always about Eddie. What did you do this time?” she pushes.

“To be honest Bev, no idea,” he relents, rubbing his temples tiredly. Beverly shoots him a look that says she’s not really buying it. He raises his hands up to his chest level in a surrender pose “Seriously, I have no idea. That’s why I’m here instead of making out with my boyfriend who is currently pissed at me. So you tell me,”

Beverly rolls her eyes but appears invested at the same time. “Hmm, interesting. You’re usually very upfront about your idiocrasy, so, ok, I believe you. Can you tell me what actually happened from your point of view?” She steps out from behind the desk, pull a chair and take a sit facing the trashmouth who keeps the defeated look on his face intact.

“And no embellishing,” she says, flicking his forehead in playful warning.

This makes Richie smiles a little and he taps his feet restlessly against the tiled floor, letting the gentle wind sway his thick curly hairs. “Ok, we were in the library…”

“Wait, you were in the library? You, Richard Tozier, in the library.I told you no embellishing,” Beverly cuts in with a tease, eyes widen comically.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, pumpkin,” Richie says, shoving her half-heartedly but smiling. “Ok, like I said, we were in the library and Eddie looked kinda stressed up, which is nothing new and then I don’t know, I just hate seeing him like that. So I did this…” Richie stretches his right thumb upfront and mimics the exact soothing gesture he did to Eddie to Beverly in which the latter frowns the way Eddie did. Then he retreats and leans back in his chair, “That’s when shit hits the fan,” he concludes.

“Really? What exactly did you say to him?” Beverly asks.

“Well, I told him to relax and not to stress too much. And he just went off on me. Saying that why I always do that and why does he have to act happy all the time,” Richie exhales, rubbing his face exasperatedly. “Tell me Bev, did I do something wrong?”

Beverly says nothing, instead her eyes rakes his face thoughtfully, leaving Richie to chew on his lips, anxious. Seconds later though, her mouth curves into her usual half smirk, the one that makes it look she knows something that no one else knows. Richie hates it whenever she does that, because 100% of the time, she really does know something he doesn’t.

“Oh honey. You naïve sweet caramel,” Beverly says as she rises up from her seat to ruffle Richie’s hair condescendingly, like he’s a _child – she’s only like 2 months older than Richie and yet she always acts like she has 2 years on him -_. Richie shoves her hand away, gently of course _– because he is actually quite terrified of Beverly –_ and pouts.

“What? What did I do?” he says defiantly.

“Richie, Eddie has RBF,” Beverly states simply.

“What the fuck is RBF? Is he sick? Pregnant?”

Beverly rolls her eyes at her best friend ignorance. “Seriously dude, what are you? 40 years old? Join the revolution and learn your abbreviation, Carol. This is embarrassing.”

“Seriously Bev, what the fuck is RBF?” Richie demands, practically pulling on her arm because what is this secret code that these young people knows _– maybe he really is 40 years old –_ that will reveal the cause of Eddie’s strange behaviour.

“Google it,” Beverly flicks her hair, savouring the glare Richie sends her way. She lets him stew for a few seconds before rolling her bright blue eyes again, “Richard, your sweet and lovely boyfriend is afflicted with Resting Bitch Face, RBF,” she gestures grandly with her hands.

Richie just stares at her, appalled, as if Beverly is talking to him in some foreign language. “The fuck is that?”

“It’s a non-threatening illness that causes insecure people to hate you for no reason and icky men on the street to subtly harass you to smile because one should assume that the survival of this planet is dependent on that.” Beverly explains, face in a frown from flashbacks of countless encounters from the past as she too has RBF.

“Huh?” Richie says dumbly.

Beverly sighs and crosses her hands over her chest, “You remember that time Greta Keene dumped the trashcan water on me in the toilet during the 9th grade, because she thought I was looking at her wrong?” she recalls making air-quote sign at the word wrong.

“Yeah, fucking bitch? But what does that have to do with Eddie?”

“Let me get to the point, Richard. Well it’s basically like that. You know how my natural expression is. Tough, mean, like I have 5 kids to defend during a zombie apocalypse,” she pauses and looks at Richie for affirmation in which he nods his head earnestly, finally getting where this is going.

“Well Greta probably thought I was hating on her because she just happened to be in my line of vision when I was honestly just blanking out.  I think somebody must have misconstrued Eddie and it happened sometimes before you guys went to the library. Hell, he’s probably been misunderstood his whole life. Eddie is sensitive and soft-hearted; it probably went beyond his maximum tolerance capacity.”

“How come I never saw you being affected by it?”

Beverly shrugs her shoulders carelessly, “Well. I don’t have much feeling so, whatevs. But Eddie is different. He’s soft around the edges. Don’t get me wrong, he’s tough when it matters but I can tell just from the polite way he speaks with that he has been hurt a lot because of it. It’s too bad he has RBF because he is the sweetest guy I know,” Beverly says with obvious fondness in her tone.

This prompts a soft smile from Richie and he nods his head, subsequent understanding dawning in his head. It’s interesting to hear this point of view. It isn’t something that he thinks about that much because he has no problem with social interactions. In fact he makes friends quite easily. But now that he thinks about it, how could he forget? He once thought Eddie was a stuck up during the first few months they started becoming roommates; a cute stuck up but there were times when Eddie’s stony silence rattled him the wrong way and he had scolded Eddie about that. God, he feels terrible every time he remembers that. And now he feels bad too.

Beverly flicks her attention to her best friend, fixing her hands over the hips with a half amused and half stern expression on her lovely freckles ridden face. “Well, what are you waiting for? Fix this. You shouldn’t let this one get away Richie. Honestly if you ever break up with Eddie, I wouldn’t acknowledge you as my friend anymore, you’re dead to me,” she exaggerates, practically shoving Richie out of the seat.

Richie stumbles before collecting himself, stands upright and fixes his crooked glasses. “You know, sometimes I think you like Eddie more than you like me. Why Bev? Is it cause he’s prettier than me? Has hair shinier than me? Is it? Is it?” he jokes, getting in Beverly’s face, clutching his hands over his chest with face scrunched excessively.

“Oh fuck off. Yes, I do like Eddie more than I like you. In fact if he were straight I would have him for myself, have my way with him. Now scramble and leave me alone. I’m too tired to handle more of your shit. Shooooo…” she shoves him away with a flick of her crayon smeared fingers, feigning annoyance but mouth curving in a smile.

“Thanks Bev. Love ya. I’ll be sure to send you our post make-up sex selfie,” Richie says loudly, already at the doorway. The girl who has been annoyed at Beverly for smoking earlier shoots her head up and looks briefly between the two friends then ducking her head back again at the look Beverly is giving her. Actually Beverly is thinking of nothing about her, it’s just her face but it makes her smirk nonetheless. It isn’t so bad, this RBF thing, it’s her superpower. She loves projecting this aura of effortless intimidation.

“I prefer the video of the whole thing actually. So get working,” she dismisses her best friend by sticking up her middle finger. Richie responds by saluting with a wide grin lighting up his face before he turns away and disappears down the stairs.

*****

Richie has a quite sometimes to ponder about the situation on his way back to the dorm room. The first thing on his agenda is to suck up to his boyfriend, apologize and then he’s going to kiss him so hard that Eddie forgets about everything that has upset him. Halfway to their dorm building, he stops at the university’s bakery to pick up Eddie’s favourite chocolate lava cake and brownies for himself. It always cheers his boyfriend up and that’s part of his sucking up plan.

However, when he opens the door of their room, his whole plan have to be put into the back burner, as he is greeted with the sight of Eddie laying on the bed with his back turn to the door, sleeping peacefully in one of Richie’s band t-shirt – _that’s overwhelmingly big on him that it slides down, exposing his shoulder-_ and cute tiny red boxer. Richie bites his lower lip at the adorable display in front of him. Slowly he walks towards the bed, then slides next to his oblivious boyfriend, who sleeps in a foetal position with both of his hands tuck underneath his chin, a sign of distress, _– one Richie comes to realise throughout their 2 years relationship –_ and kisses his smooth shoulder, smelling the menthol shower gel he uses. Richie smiles fondly at his boyfriend’s face as he caresses his hair and then lean down to plant a gentle kiss on his forehead. Eddie stirs in his sleep a little, frowns, but doesn’t wake. Richie waits for a while before deciding to take a shower.

When he returns from the communal bathroom, he comes to find Eddie still asleep with no sign of waking up. Guess he has to wait until tomorrow. It is only 9pm and he is not the type to go to bed early so he go over to his desk next to their joined bed and sorts out his class schedule for tomorrow. He is so fixated on arranging the notes needed for tomorrow classes that he almost shouts when a pair of hands suddenly wraps around his waist from behind. He feels a press on his back before he rotates his body halfway, to find his boyfriend in his peripheral vision. Of course, who else could it be? His whole body relaxes and he leans into the touch.

“Hey baby, did I wake you up?” he asks, rubbing Eddie’s arms around his waist. He feels the motion of his shaking head against his back.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says, voice muffled.

Richie smiles and releases Eddie’s hold and turn around to sit at the desk. He pulls Eddie closer so that he is standing in-between his parted legs. Eddie isn’t looking at him, instead he is staring at his chest, wearing an expression of ultimate regret. Richie lifts his chin so that they are looking at each other, eye to eye; soft brown looking into darker ones. Eddie looks at him with teary eyes and when he blinks, droplet of tears rain down his cheeks, causing pain in his chest.

“Hey, don’t worry about that. I’m sorry too,” he consoles his boyfriend while wiping away the tears with his thumbs.

“For what? You have nothing to be sorry about. I was a jerk,” Eddie says, sniffling.

“I’m sorry for assuming that I know what goes on in your mind. I get it now Eds, sometimes a smile isn’t going to fix everything. I learn it from Bev,” Richie states with a proud smile on his face.

“Wait, you talked to Beverly about us?” Eddie asks, forgetting his sorrow as he looks at Richie quizzically.

“Yup. I did”

“And what did she said?”

“That you have this thing called RBF and that probably telling you to smile aren’t helping,” Richie summarises.

“Well, she’s right but I shouldn’t have let it out on you. I know you didn’t mean anything by that and I’ve handled the situation poorly. I was an asshole. I’m sorry, you don’t deserve that,” Eddie leans his head on Richie’s shoulder then burrows his nose on the fabric of his shirt, smelling the detergent he loves so much.

“Do you mind telling me what happened?” Richie asks, running his hand up and down Eddie’s back causing the latter to exhale tiredly.

Eddie pushes his head back and places his hands on top of Richie’s thighs. Richie is looking at him encouragingly and he knows he deserves an explanation.

“It was stupid. It’s not like this haven’t happened before. Quite frankly, I shouldn’t be surprised anymore but I was just so embarrassed,” he looks away. Richie rubs his arm soothingly, encouraging him to go on. “It was my PR lecturer. Fuck! He was an asshole Rich. He humiliated me in front of the whole class. And I couldn’t do anything, I just had to take it and pretend like it doesn’t affect me. It’s so hard, having to keep a straight face all the time while people just go to town with my dignity. Just cause I have this face,” he gestures at his face in frustration then picks up the hem of his t-shirt to wipe at his watery eyes.

“Hey, baby, please don’t cry,” Richie pulls him to his chest, stroking his hair with one hand while the other press tightly over his lower back.

Eddie presses his nose on the neck of Richie’s shirt and continues, “I don’t know how to do it Rich. I don’t know how to smile when there is no reason to. Why can’t I just be normal, like everyone else?  Like you…”

“Normal is overrated Eds and you are normal. It’s just that we’re in a different spectrum of normal,” Richie cuts in, grabbing Eddie by the shoulder and locking him with a fierce stare that Eddie returns with a wide eyed wonderment. “Don’t ever let anyone tell you to be different, not even me, because the Eddie that I know is amazing. You got it?” Richie exclaims in which Eddie just nods his head dumbly.

“By the way, fuck normal Eds, you are kind, smart, thoughtful and compassionate and that one tiny blip isn’t going to erase all that. You have to remember this,” Richie continues, unable to contain the admiration he has for his boyfriend.

“Thank you,” Eddie says, offering a shaky smile before pressing their forehead together. In the still silence, where only their breaths are audible in the room, Eddie takes in the words that were said by his boyfriend. He gets this overwhelming sense of gratitude that he is lucky enough to be chosen to exist in the same space as him. He never thought he would matter to someone but apparently fate has a way of pulling strings that would eventually ties you to a person who matters the most. And Eddie forgets; everything else just seems so insignificant through this perspective.

Instead he focuses on this person in front of him and all he can think of his favourite line in a Paramore song;

_‘for all the air that’s in your lungs’_

  _‘for all the joy that is to come’_

And he almost sways with the song’s melody that’s playing in his head but he doesn’t. Instead, he cups Richie’s face and kisses him sweetly on the lips. When he pulls back, Richie is grinning from ear to ear and Eddie blushes at the extent of vulnerability he allows himself to show to his boyfriend. Then with the tips of his ears and cheeks tinted red, he pulls on Richie’s arm and leads him to the bed. Communicating through his action on what he wants; still too embarrass to say these things out loud.

However, Richie is never shy when it comes to intimacy. “Whoa Eds, does this mean I’m getting lucky tonight?’ he teases while basically already pushing Eddie on the bed so that his boyfriend is sitting at the edge, staring up at him as he pulls up his t-shirt hurriedly.

“Do you want to? ‘ Eddie asks bashfully, playing with the strings of Richie’s sweatpants.

“Ok, I’m gonna sound like such a whore, but who the hell do you think I’m taking my clothes off for? In this weather!” he teases again before pulling down his sweatpants unceremoniously, leaving him in his black boxer. Eddie goes beet red at the sight of his tented boxer.

Richie gives him a knowing smile before slowly straddling him, effectively pushing him flush to his back on the bed. Richie holds himself up with both elbows propped on each side of Eddie’s head and lowers his head down to crash his lips onto his boyfriend’s. Eddie circles his hands around Richie’s neck to deepen the kiss and opens his mouth to let Richie’s tongue in. He moans in his boyfriend’s open mouth as he licks at the roof of his mouth which causes his eyes to water, back arching from the bed and toes curling from pleasure.

Richie pulls back and looks in satisfaction at Eddie’s wrecked hair and swollen lips. _“I did that,”_ his inner monologue practically beamed as he pushes away from Eddie to stands up next to the bed. Eddie leans back up with his elbows, perplexed.

“Hold on, Bev told me to record the whole thing,” he says seriously which causes Eddie’s eyes to pop on his face. Richie laughs at the seriousness in which Eddie takes his words for. And Eddie realising that Richie is teasing him, throws a pillow at his laughing boyfriend direction, hitting him on the face but it still fails to cease the joyful laughter out of him. He crosses his arms over his chest and huffs, annoyed.

“I’m sorry Eds. It’s just so easy. I’m just getting this,” Richie pulls something out of the bedside table; a bottle of lube and a packet of condom, the laughter still etched on his face. Eddie blushes beet red once again.

“Just so you know babe, Beverly is a big fan and would it be so bad to do her a fan service?”

“Fuck off Richie. Stop talking about our sex life to other people,” Eddie scowls and to prove his point, slides underneath the comforter, smirking at the panic look on Richie’s face.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on baby. You know I was only joking. Come on babe. Don’t do this to me. Eddieeeeee,” he whines as he tries to pull the comforter off his boyfriend who clung stubbornly on the sheet, laughing his head off.

“Eds, you know you’re the only one allowed to see this,” without warning, Richie yanks off his boxer, leaving him buck naked in the middle of the room, shaking his body so that his ‘thing’ jiggles in plain sight of his boyfriend who  just splutters.

“Rich, stop that!” Eddie scolds which entices Richie more.

“What? This?” Richie shakes his body more while Eddie covers his face with his hands.

“I hate you,” Eddie says through his fingers, chuckling.

“No you don’t,” Richie pries his hands off his face to kiss him gently on the forehead.

“No, I don’t,” Eddie agrees and he takes off Richie’s glasses to place it on the bedside table. He lets Richie takes off his shirt and pushes him on the bed.

“Now, let me show you just how much I love you,” Richie says and Eddie giggles as his hot breath trickles down his neck as he sucks on that special spot under his ear. His giggles ease into pleasured moaning as his boyfriend slides even further down his body.

*****

Eddie enters the quaint café nestled between the old rows of shops which are located far away from the centre of the city. It is one of his favourite places in the city; a wonderful accidental discovery he and Richie had made during their 3rd date when they chose to explore the city instead of going the usual movie and dinner route. In his opinion, the café served the best latte in town, so good that Eddie has dreams about it. That was the reason he had asked Richie, Bev and Mike to meet him there once he have finished his 12pm classes. His project partner, Ben, trails wordlessly behind him, offering him kind smiles as their eyes meet. It is quite a distance from the metro station and Eddie feels bit guilty of dragging his new friend there but he swears to Ben that lunch would be on him. The blue eyed, blonde hair southern boy declines. However, Eddie insists, not only under the premise of feeling guilty for the quite lengthy journey but because Ben had save his ass earlier by keeping a second copy of the presentation slide for their HR Management course in his hard disk; the presentation slide that Eddie had accidentally deleted in his haste this morning.

Finally they reach the café and Eddie releases a sigh of relief, opening the door for Ben. He is only halfway through the door before he hears the familiar screech of his boyfriend, waving at him excitedly from the booth at the back of the café, next to the gigantic window, ignoring the heads turned his way and to Eddie as well who ducks his head, mortified.

“That would be my boyfriend, Richie,” Eddie explains, making a face as he leads Ben to the booth where Richie and the other two are occupying. Ben merely smiles, polite and unassuming. They near the booth where Richie automatically stands up, hovers in Eddie’s space before planting a smacking wet kiss on Eddie’ left cheek.

“Eddie spaghetti, I miss you,” he declares loudly to which Eddie just rolls his eyes and shoves him back down to his seat. Beverly and Mike shake their head exasperatedly, smiling at Eddie and Ben nonetheless.

“Hey Eddie,” Beverly says, eyeing Ben with interest.

“Hey Kaspbrak, long time no see,” Mike stands up to give Eddie a brief hug. Mike has been M.I.A. for the past few weeks as he had to return to his hometown of Derry due to some family business. Eddie returns the hug, and then beams widely at him as he let go.

“Oh, this is Ben, my project partner,” Eddie introduces him to his friends.

“Ben, this is everyone. That’s Richie, Mike and Beverly,” he says, pointing at Beverly who scoots over to give Ben a room to sit.

“Hi,” Bev says, extending her arm for a handshake. Eddie doesn’t miss the blush blooming on Ben’s cheek as he takes her hand before  settling on the spot next to her. He also doesn’t miss the way Beverly shyly tucks her hair behind her ears after Ben apologizes profusely after accidentally bumping her.

_“Interesting,”_ he thinks to himself. Beverly isn’t the type to get shy.

His personal thought however is interrupted by Richie who pouts like a puppy dog in his seat. “How come Mike gets a hug?” he asks with lips pursed outwards, at the moment looking like a little kid desperate for attention.

Eddie shakes his head as he slumps next to Richie who is keeping his eyes glued to his every movement, wanting Eddie to acknowledge him. From across the seat, Beverly rolls her eyes briefly then turns her attention back to Ben who is done rummaging through his backpack to produce his sketch book for Beverly to see. Ben is majoring in architecture. Meanwhile Mike is oblivious to everything, preoccupied with the menu, seemingly finding it hard to make a decision.

“Eds, Eddie, baby,” Richie tugs on the sleeve of his sweater and Eddie is tempted to ignore him for a while longer. However, Richie’s persistence is something else and he could never win against him. Still, Eddie turns to his side to face Richie with an annoyed look on his face. A look that Richie only deems as adorable and it only makes him smile as Eddie huffs before shifting closer to wrap his arms around Richie waist and then leaning back to kiss him on the lips.

“There, happy?” he asks. He gets no answer. Instead Richie just presses their bodies closer and then attacks his face with his lips by planting random kisses all over his face. Beverly looks on with disgust while Ben smiles awkwardly next to her, not knowing how to react. Mike though, is unfazed, looking at the couple momentarily before exclaiming that he is going to get the grilled salmon.

“Now I’m happy. No orders for me, I just had a three course meal,” Richie says, finally letting go of his boyfriend. His statement causes Eddie to smack his back in reflex, embarrassed.

“Okay fine, dessert then. Although I wouldn’t mind one in bed later,” Richie jokes suggestively, pointedly getting off his boyfriend’s embarrassment.

Eddie covers his face with his hands and peers through his fingers at Ben. “Ben, on behalf of everyone, I would like to apologise for this asshole’s behaviour,” he offers dramatically.

“It’s fine Eddie. It’s actually very funny,”

“You hear that Eds, I’m very funny. I told you I’m hilarious but you just never listen. I know you are something special Haystack,” Richie reaches out, offering his knuckles for a fist bump which Ben returns half-heartedly.

“Don’t encourage him Ben,” Beverly chips in exhaustedly.

*****

Their orders are ready in less than 20 minutes and Eddie is savouring every bites of his avocado chicken salad. They settle into an easy conversation, Ben fitting in perfectly in their group dynamic and joy blooms in Eddie’s chest to see them settling into a natural rhythm. If only Bill and Stan are here, this would be more perfect as his two best friends are already acquainted with Richie’s friend during the few trips the love birds have taken to NY before. They have gotten off greatly during those few visits and Eddie couldn’t wait for their planned summer trip to Thailand in 6 months, already thinking of extending the invite to Ben _– something Eddie suspects Beverly wouldn’t mind -._

They talk about nothing and everything in between. Slowly, their small talks change to the topic of the worst lecturer they have ever had. Eddie eagerly shares his horrible experience with his PR lecturer only to have Mike cuts him in before he gets to the worst part of the story.

“Wait, you have Goldie for Public Relations?” Mike asks urgently.

“Yeah,” Eddie confirms.

“Ugh, I hate that guy,” Mike declares, face screwing up in disgust. Eddie is taken aback seeing that Mike isn’t the type to throw the hate word around easily.

“Well you can count me in that club as well dude,” he confesses then taking the high five Mike sends his way.

“God, what an asshole! Seriously, you put him in a room with Kanye West and Kanye’ll be like ‘that’s fucked up’,” Mike adds, causing Eddie to laugh at the not so impossible scenario.

“I hear you. He totally went off on me during the 1st class just cause apparently I looked too serious during the ice breaker,” Eddie recalls.

“I swear he’s actually insane,” Mike says.

“I have my suspicion as well,” Eddie agrees.

“But don’t worry about him though because oddly enough, he’s fair when it comes to grading, just do what he asks you to do and it’s an easy A,” Mike who is a senior advises, appearing so wise in Eddie’s eyes.

“Well, that is good news. At least I’m not going to spend 6 months in hell for nothing,” Eddie sighs, honestly relief but attempts to make light of his words. His body perks up when Richie silently throws his hand around his shoulder, pulls him closer and squeezes. Richie almost always knows the things Eddie tries to hide and therefore doesn’t say out loud. He can sense the concealed worry and anxiety behind Eddie’s words every time he returns to their dorm room right after a soul sucking PR class where Eddie never misses despite everything. Remaining resolutely in the seminar room, mostly spending the allocated 2 hours dodging bullets from his lecturer; bullets he seemed to reserve only for Eddie. Man he just goes to town with it and just shoots, shoots and shoots while Eddie tries his best to deflect with feigned ignorance and determination to prove him wrong.

“At least we can establish now that the asshole doesn’t hate you specifically, babe. Like I said, he’s just bat shit crazy,” Richie leans in for whisper.

“I guess,” Eddie says equally low.

“You’re gonna get that A. Nobody works harder than you do. If he doesn’t give you that, I’m going to personally go to his house, kidnap his cats and demand that he change your grade to A as ransom,” Richie resolves, joking of course.

“What happened if you got caught though? What am I gonna do once people started referring to me as the pussy thief’s boyfriend? Then I have to visit you in jail once in every two weeks and it’ll take so much of my time that I have to miss my classes and then have to resort to kidnapping the other professors’ cats as well to get an A. Then we’re both in jail…” Eddie elaborates the nonsense his boyfriend started.

“Then we’ll just have to find a way to be happy in jail. At least we get be together and there’s free food. Silver lining,” Richie adds in, laughing in his ears.

“That’s actually doesn’t sound half bad,” Eddie concludes, humouring him. “Dessert?” he asks his boyfriend then waves to the waitress to make an order for another cup of latte.

“Nah, they don’t have what I want in the menu,” Richie says a bit loud, smirking at Eddie naughtily prompting Beverly to repeat the frequent disgusted expression that she throws freely when she’s around Richie.

“If you behave I might put out the menu tonight,” Eddie whispers, taking Richie by surprise because holy fuck, that actually works.

“Well babe, challenge accepted.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like this. Please tell me what you think. Cheers ^.^


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